Life so far in the Mini Mansion

After traveling 2400 miles we picked up our new home and are now half way back to where we started from.

After nine days on the road 3 in a motel and the rest in the Mini Mansion at a BLM campground in Utah to Canyon De Chelly national park in Arizona to a dust bowl in Shamrock Oklahoma we have stopped for a day of much needed rest at Horsehead Lake in the Ozark forest in Arkansas.
As I was quickly becoming a mean, stinky, hairy woman it was in Marks best interest to find a place to say for more than one night. So here we are on the edge of Ozark national forest and as much as I hate mornings I am glad the dogs got me up because the view was worth it.
Here is what I have learned so far living mini on the go, the lighted parking lot at Wal-mart makes me feel safe when I walk the dogs at night the lights put off a romantic glow in the trailer right until you go to bed and the skylight above the bed lets the light shine in your eyes, I looked over at Mark and seen him blinking probably could have read a book!! Found some cardboard and put it in the hole to block the light, perfect!! until it fell on me at 3 AM and scared the crap out of me. Not to self don't park under lights. I hate dust so staying in a dirt RV park in Oklahoma was not a good idea by the time I swept the floor I had enough to to plant a nice little garden, note to self don't park in the dirt. Blu dog has learned that if you want to get from one side of the table to the other it is easier to walk across the table than go around. Cole has learned that it is pretty cool to stretch out on the bottom bunk and snore like a buzz saw. Nick has learned that it is easier to be even closer to me in a small space. Mark has learned that every time he leaves the cabinet door above the sink open his wife will hit her head on it. And me well I have learned that home cooking means tearing off the lid pealing back the cover adding boiling water, stir and let stand for 3 minutes is as good as it gets. And so here we are at the lake paved level spot, leafs on the ground and no dirt no spotlights in the eyes and I finally got that hot shower that turned me back into a human.
PS if you ever go to Monument Valley don't buy the Indian print blankets they are made in India

Be Careful What You Wish For!

For a few years now I have been obsessed with Jay Shafer and his Tumbleweed tiny houses. The premise is all about living small and living simply with only the things you use the most so that you have more time with friends and family. If you are interested in his designs you can click here: http://www.tumbleweedhouses.com/  It is a style of living that would not be suitable for everyone I understand that however with my Virgo neat freak orderly personality it makes perfect sense to me. When we got serious about buying property I was ready to move into 200 square feet, Mark on the other hand was appalled, not that he minded living small just not that small. Except now we are going to live temporally ever smaller. We may have sold our house, we accepted and offer with a closing date the end of January. I will not feel as though it is a reality until we are signing the papers. Meanwhile we need a roof over our heads and water not to mention a climate controlled environment and most importantly hot coffee in the mornings. We are putting in place the things we need like a pump for the well so that we can actually get water out of the ground, electricity so that I can have my coffee because it would be extremely ugly if I didn't get my coffee every morning. Decorative fencing so that I am not chasing black dogs around 3 1/2 acres at 3:00am. All this effort so that we can move into an 8x24 foot RV if you do the math that is about 190 square feet or 38 square feet per live body that will inhabit the trailer. It's a good thing two of the bodies only weigh 25 pounds, but the big dog is like a third person, thank heavens they don't need close or we would be in trouble. As luck would have it our kids own this mini mansion on wheels and because they love us and understand that we are a bit crazy they are letting us use the trailer for an as yet to be determined amount of time. If you are desperate to see what it looks like here you go http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OdYiytooRc
Now that the steps have been set in motion Mark is talking about living like this for a few years and I am trying to figure out how to get the house build faster than the proposed 7 months!!! Oh how attitudes and opinions fluctuate in this house. We are also having a 20 x 21 foot two door barn built on the farm to store our stuff in so we have access to it and are not paying storage fees plus later it will give Gertrude a nice place to rest in between mowing's and a shop for Mark to tinker in. Technically we will be "camping" on our property and as long as we move the trailer every six months our "camping" starts over, by moving I mean hook up the trailer drag it around the block and put it back or maybe we could really go camping for the weekend. Well we would need someplace with power because my little Betta fish need his heater. Not sure where his bowl will go yet but we will figure it all out as we go. As soon as we get the mini mansion set up I will post pictures and give a tour. Can't wait to wash my clothes at the Laundromat, kinda makes me feel like a newlywed again!

I Think My Tractors Sexy, As Sexy as She Can be For a 66 Year Old

I like old things, I see value in old things. You are just as likely to get in the car with me and hear Nat King Cole or Doris Day blasting out of the radio as you are OneRepublic. I love the papery thin skin and blue veins of an older woman's hands. I like old trucks with ones with a long bench seat covered in vinyl so when you hit a bump in the road the springs in the seat make you bounce up and hit your head on the ceiling. I like the sounds that older things make like the creek that an oak floor makes when you walk on it, the hum of an old refrigerator and the chiming of a grandfather clock. So I guess it is fitting that for now we have put off buying that Kubota B3200 shiny new orange tractor that Mark wants. And instead have purchased a 66 year old 1949 Ford 8N tractor.

For some that may seem like a slightly crazy thing to do but lucky for me I married a mechanic so he can keep the old girl going for awhile longer. Lest you think I am too far up in the crazy tree you should know that the Ford 8N was the most popular tractor in North America. The N series tractor was manufactured by Ford from 1939 to 1954, the 8N was produced between 1947 through 1952. Between 1939 and 1954 nine hundred thousand N series tractors were made of that nine hundred thousand, five hundred and twenty four thousand were the 8N. What this means for us is some pretty amazing stuff. Due to the popularity of this tractor the Owners Manuel as well as the Service Manuel are still in print and available for purchase. eBay has 51 pages of items available from the entire tractor to fenders and air filters. The local Tractor Supply store still carries tires and the AMP and oil gauges.
I named her Gertrude before we even went to look at her. For me it was love at first sight. She is showing her age with dings and rust but I don't care. Gertie and I are a lot alike she is a little slow to start and so am I, she doesn't go that fast but she gets the job done so do I, she needs lead in her tank but then again so do I, we are both a little odd but we are alright with that. Gertrude will teach me patients because after all when you are riding along on an old tractor with a shade umbrella attached to the fender mowing your lawn you really shouldn't be in a big hurry and in return I will keep the rain and snow off her hood and her motor running for as long as I can. So if you are feeling nostalgic and need to know what it feels like to wrap your fingers around a big old narrow plastic steering wheel while you bounce along on a metal seat come see us. It's not quite as fun as Grandma pushing me around her yard in that old green wheel barrow but it's awfully close.

How To Plant A Tree

Or rather how not to plant a tree, just dig a hole and toss the tree in cover it up and you have fruit, its not rocket science right? Wrong!!! well kind of. Contrary to what I posted on Facebook we did go Black Friday shopping for fruit trees but I did not beat anyone with a Fig Tree to get the last 50% off peach tree. I reserve that kind of anger for something really important like not being able to find a knit sweater pattern on Ravelry so I can use up yarn I already own, anyway back to the trees. The nursery has a great selection of fruit trees we purchase two apples, one apricot, one nectarine, one peach and an Asian pear. We had plotted out where we were planting the trees the day before we had also hauled loads of mulch for a lovely ring to be placed around each tree for weed suppression and moisture retention. On Friday Mark diligently dug six very large holes as the trees were in 4 gallon containers, I remember asking him if he were digging a new well for water or was he on his way to China he laughed I laughed and he kept digging.

Since we are planting things that will need attention and come back every year I decided to buy a gardening journal to help us keep track of what we planted, where we planted it, when to prune it etc. On Saturday we spread our mulch rings around the base of the trees and came home knowing that Sunday would be a much needed day of rest. I sat down and started to enter the trees in the journal and upon doing some Internet research I stumbled up some planting information. I looked at my tired husband and announced "the trees are too deep and it is going to cause us problems" I researched more articles and Mark watch 7 or 8 YouTube videos and so the truth was finally admitted, all six trees are too deep. So what! whats the worst thing that can happen, well it turns out a bunch of bad things if you actually want the tree to live and produce fruit. First we will have a basic tree lesson. Trees do not like to be deep because they get there water from the surface not from some magical water source ten feet under ground. If you plant them to deep the roots will grow up not down looking for water, so what the roots reach the top and get water whats the big deal. I have one word for you: girdling now for me this word conjures up a garment that my Grandmother use to wear it took a crane and three or four strong guys to help you get into the thing and the purpose was to make you look more svelte.

Comfortable yes?? But I digress, back to trees and tree girdling which makes the tree roots wrap around the tree trunk and strangle the tree finally killing the tree it looks like this. Come to think of it they are not much different

Next is the problem of base support, if the roots cannot spread out to form a large base the tree cannot support its self and falls over. Also when it come to fruit trees there are three varieties, standard, semi-dwarf and dwarf, all this means is how large the tree will be at maturity. We purchased semi-dwarf trees. They get to be semi-dwarfed by grafting a stem to the trunk of a standard size fruit tree if you bury the joint you will change the size of the tree at maturity. I have no burning desire to climb a 30 foot orchard ladder to pick fruit. I am sure that there are other reason not to plant them deep but these two were our main concern. Let me state that our trees were at a minimum 8 inches to deep. What to do, what to do??? We decided to move the six foot diameter mulch rings and dig the trees up and start over, no big deal. Except if you remember in the first photo Mark is in a short sleeved shirt no jacket, that's because it is 60 degrees and we are sweating. Cut to Sunday it it is a balmy 30 degrees with an 8 mile an hour wind yippee. We look a lot like Ralphie's little brother from the movie A Christmas Story. Just in case you don't know what that looks like here you go

We fixed it!! all six trees were dug up and replanted at the proper depth mulch rings reinstalled and no animals were harmed in the process. Now all the trees are watered in and hopefully happily waiting to be pruned in late winter and will bear fruit for years to come. Our lesson learned is to do more research when planting because no one wants to go through this again.

How To Build a Berry Patch & Not Get Divorced In The Process

Marriage and communication skills often times makes for strange bedfellows. It is such and amazing thing to me that Mark and I have been married for twenty eight years. We don't fight about the big things that seem to always top the list like money, jobs, kids. When I decided on a modular house he says "ok". Then after much thought on Marks part he announces he doesn't want a modular home he wants to spend $75,000.00 more and get the log cabin and I say "ok". Not an argument in that entire monumental decision. But get in the Nissan with us on the way to the farm to drop off a load of compost for the new berry patch and boy howdy I can assure you the tension level in that vehicle will make you want to crawl out the window and strap yourself to the roof rack while going 70 MPH on the freeway. And why you might ask does a berry patch cause such a heated discussion accompanied by elevated blood pressure? Because both of us have already built that berry patch in our heads and they do not in any way shape or form look alike and we are also completely convinced that our own plans are the very best! Twenty tense minutes later we have agreed to disagree until Saturday when we actually start to build the berry patch, because truly at this point it is just an idea we don't actually have any berry plants just a load of compost. Compost by the way we purchased from the city for $4.00 and once again we are using that borrowed/stolen farm use trailer.

Cut to later that same night and you will find us cozied up on the couch together with the Double A Vineyards catalog picking out our raspberry, blueberry and blackberry quantities and varieties. Calmly discussing the row width and row spacing based on Internet research because some day we are going to buy a Kubota 32 horse power tractor and we needed to know the width of the mower deck, it is 72 inches, and that my friends is how you decide how far apart to space your berry patch rows.



In the end the argument fizzled out because it was never that important to begin with, there is this great song by kd lang and yes she uses all lower case letters, titled The Perfect Word, the lyrics say "I don't need to win this fight, I just need to make it right". We will have a berry patch and it will have a wonderful variety of berries and the patch will look amazing. In reality the end result will resemble a mesh of both Mark's and my vision. So that we can get on with the important things like were we are putting the garden and how big it will be and row spacing and veg.................

Poor Trees the Sequel

After you cut down white oak and black walnut trees and decide the wood is to beautiful to use as firewood what do you do? Thankfully we have friends who know a thing or two about wood. We did manage to get the logs to the portable sawmill and I will say it was a lot of work. It took one work van with a wench the Nissan and a borrowed/stolen farm use trailer, five trips up and over the mountain in what turned out to be a 35 mile one way trip, oh did I mention Mark didn't want to cut the trailer plug so we could plug it into the Nissan so we  had no tail lights and the seriously bald trailer tire that needed air after every trip. Not to mention the thrill of being pushed down the mountain by thousands of pounds of tree trunks. But it was worth it!!

I need to mention why it was a borrowed/stolen farm use trailer. Our friend Oscar has access to trailers they just happen to belong to his dad. It usually works out well unless Oscar forgets to tell anyone we are coming to get a trailer. So the afternoon we first picked up the trailer Mark was hooking it up to the Nissan when the neighbor Daryl came driving down the lane to see what we were up to. Mark is busy so I wander over to the truck and stranger says "what are you doing?" The snarky smart ass side of me want to say "stealing a trailer what does it look like we are doing?" But before I open my big mouth I notice the rifle on the passenger seat, it as at this point I am reaching for my phone to I can show this guy the text from Oscar saying it is alright to steal/borrow said trailer. I mention that we are hauling logs so we can have them milled when the portable saw mill guy gets here on Saturday! Bing!!! I said the magic words. Now Daryl is a very happy man and starts to tell me he has been tyring to avoid having to help with that particular job and have a nice day and if we hear any gun shots its just him so don't worry!!!! Two trailer loads of logs later we are taking the last logs out of the trailer in the dark when we see the headlights of a vehicle coming our way. Mark just keeps working until we notice the headlights are just sitting there staring at us and the driver is still behind the wheel, kind of like a cop. Mark stops working to go see who we have upset now. Turns out to be Oscars dad he wants to know what we are up to on his land with his trailer in the middle of the night. Some fast talking by Mark and all is well. Logs are ready to be cut in the morning.



 

 

If you have never had the opportunity to be involved in a weekend of milling trees let me just say that you have missed out on one of the great experiences of life. For us it involved three generations of family, friends and neighbors, two cow chases one by the men and the last by Nick. A family photo session, a buffet lunch on the tailgate of a Chevy blazer and a little bit of rain thrown in for good measure. Mark and the dogs and I came home a little damp, over fed covered in saw dust dragging a trailer with no taillights full of oak and walnut and exhausted it was one of the best weekends of my life. Our neighbor Gloria let us park the trailer in her yard for a week until we could get the wood unloaded and stacked to dry in our yard. With any luck it will sit and dry peacefully thru the winter and we will finish it out in a kiln and mill it into flooring, counter tops and a fireplace mantle. I must say that there is something deeply satisfying about taking wood from your land and being able to make something useful with it. I have a new appreciation for all of the work that it takes in order to make something beautiful with wood.

 

Poor Trees

Well I am sad to report that trees had to be taken down here at the farm. The first set of trees had to go so that the driveway could be constructed. The second tree fell yesterday as it was lop sided and Mark was worried it would eventually fall over and land on the house. Since the house is currently a figment of our imagination we thought now would be a good time for the tree to go.
Now for the good news! We have a purpose for the fallen trees and no it isn't as fireplace fuel, as one is oak and the others are black walnut trees and we have access to a saw mill this weekend the plan is to some how magically transport tree trunks that most likely weigh more than my Nissan, 20 miles to the saw to be cut into manageable pieces. We are hoping to get a walnut fireplace mantle and maybe enough to do a walnut kitchen island countertop. The dream would be to have enough oak to do the floors but I may be hallucinating as to how much tree verses flooring you can get but since it is my rich fantasy life I am sticking with flooring.
So while you are thinking of all the amazing wood things that can be built here is a picture of Mark on the oak stump

As The Farm Turns

Ten years ago when I picked out the house that we are currently living in it was an older home and it had a problem or two. After seeing the narrow driveway and experiencing a plumbing problem or two Mark informed me I had purchased a money pit. In a huff I told him fine he could pick out the next house! Ummm that might be happening now. As much as I want a tiny house 1000 square foot or less it seems that he has found his dream house and it resides in the form of a log cabin complete with a loft and screened in porch fireplace and a deck coming in at 1600 square feet.  Here is the link if you would like to see it in all its glory.http://www.blueridgeloghome.com/emerson.html We have a meeting with them on Monday the 15th of October.

Here is the latest construction news: We have water! the well was put in a month ago and pumps out 45 gallons per minute, the septic system is in and the driveway has been installed far enough into the property to satisfy VDOT. So here are a few pictures that are not very impressive however we do need water and a place to go potty. Plus some trees have to come down and that is happening slowly but surly, two trees down five to go. I have transplanted some hostas and herbs which I am sure the deer will eat and stomping around found a wild rose which I will move and hope it grows and blooms. We can save an oak tree and some honey locusts as well as several cedar trees. No goats or chickens yet but the dogs love running around while we putter. Log cabin and tree trimming new to follow.

Faster Than The Speed Of Light

We took the epic leap over the weekend and put our current home on the market, the realtor came back on Wednesday and took pictures for their web site and we have our first showing Friday at 5:00 PM so here is to being homeless!! If anyone is just dying to see what my current house looks like here is the link .http://www.directsavingsrealestate.com/Harrisonburg/Virginia/Homes/Unnamed_Areas/Agent/Listing_57541643.html
And today we went and ordered our new house it took about 30 minutes to pick everything out. Here is the great thing about a mobile home you have about four or five choices for everything. Kitchen cabinets do you want oak, light oak, dark oak, cherry or pine. Counter tops Formica or solid surface, ok you have five choices of color for each. Want laminate flooring four colors to pick from three paint colors and vinyl siding four colors. I know that may seem limited but I see that as a good thing I don't care for trendy and I like neutral colors I hate going to Lowe's or Home Depot I usually become overwhelmed with all of the choices I don't need 3000 flooring options or kitchen cabinet choices then paint then the one million other things that you need to pick out when you are using standard construction. The other spectacular benefit to having limited choices is it eliminates the argument between Mark and I over what we like the color choices are not that far apart that they are hard to live with. He wanted the darker oak flooring I wanted the lighter so we went with darker. He wanted darker vinyl siding I wanted lighter we went with lighter. So after ordering a house we are still madly in love and not talking to a divorce attorney because we couldn't come to an agreement on the linoleum floor in the laundry room. I love simplicity.

Alternate Universe

Ever feel like you are living in an alternate universe? Lets start with some assumptions first and most important is the size of a house in my theory building smaller would be less to heat less to cool and less to clean equaling less to build, this is were the alternate universe comes in, wrong, wrong, wrong! There again I am no math whiz but lets look at a 980 square foot house and our three contractor estimates they range in price from $240,000.00 to $180,000.00 so on the low side that is $183.00 per square foot to build, my daughter asked if for that price we were having marble imported from Italy, sadly no. The next assumption would be build tiny get it done faster, nope! Six months, come on it is a 980 square foot house, I thought the economy was down and builders were hungry for work ahhh nope! All of this news prompted me to go looking for alternate housing options my first stop was a Yurt, if you are not familiar with yurts they are a glorified tent you can check them out here http://www.yurts.com/  oh and I need to mention that I was serious about living in one. My next stop on the alternate housing list was a mobile home, now before you roll your eyes and picture overgrown grass a bunch of junker cars up on blocks with pack of hound dogs living under the cars all the while Mark and I sit on a rotting porch in what use to be our indoor furniture while spitting tobacco and drinking moon shine from a mason jar, times have changed. We spent an hour at the Clayton Homes lot in town and received a real eye opener, how about 30 year shingles, 2 x 4 construction with drywall and the same insulation and low e windows we wanted for the tiny house, cherry kitchen cabinets and solid surface counter tops, 3 bedrooms 2 bathrooms and 1500 square feet, I know not tiny but not a McMansion either and still smaller than the house I live in now. Did I mention it has an open floor plan and a fireplace, oh and a mud room, vinyl siding, energy star appliances. And I don't have to pound one nail or paint anything, for $110,252.00 in case you are wondering that is $66.00 per square foot. So more math the difference between 180k and 110k is a bucket load of vacations!!! So it appears that there will be some redneck jokes in my future and maybe some bluegrass music probably no more dogs to the family, Mark says I have reached my maximum limit, but on seventy thousand dollars that I don't have to pay for a house I will be laughing all the to my next European vacation.

Thoughts on Dirt

Dirt, otherwise known as land or property. Pretend that you have been searching off and on for a few years and only became serious about buying six months ago. Now pretend that you are out in a cow pasture looking at views of the mountains all around you with a stream running along the length of the property. It is a perfect fall day, beautiful blue skies with those amazing puffy white clouds and the temperature is also perfect. And while you are standing there you have that God moment you know the one it goes something like this, the heavens part and you hear the angels going ahhhhhhhhh and the sun is streaming down on your face all the outside noise leaves your head and all you can see or hear in those seconds is your little house and the dogs playing on that perfect 3.58 acre parcel of land with a few chickens and some goats wandering around, your husband by your side and life ah beautiful, peaceful country life stretching out before you. The next sound you hear is that zipping noise the one that comes from a record on a turntable when the needle goes skidding across. That is the realtor saying the sentence, because of the stream you might be in a “flood plain”. A what? You say. Well it seems that a few years ago FEMA looked at every lake, pond, river, and stream and reevaluated them for 100 year flood plain. What that means to me is you cannot build in a flood plain because you will never be able to afford the required flood insurance ever! Ok then we will get the property surveyed and see what we have. Call the surveyor and make an appointment tromp around in the pasture for about an hour and a half get and Elevation Certificate telling you where you can put your house, not as it turns out where you wanted it, in exchange for $450.00. Now I know that life is expensive and all these things are required to build but let us do some simple math here. Ninety minutes, ninety minutes I say divided by $450.00 of our hard earned dollars equals out to be $5.00 per minute. Now I really don’t know what kind of education it takes to be a surveyor or how much his equipment costs and maybe we were his only job for the month but $5.00 per minute. And this person is probably going to have to come back more than once. Not being a trust fund baby or a lottery winner my advice to you is this, before the God moment, look around if there is water anywhere near you run! Run as fast as you can.

Not Very Exciting News But Important Stuff

When one buys a piece of land that use to be a cow pasture there are things that need to happen in order for the land to become a tiny farm where you will eventually live. Even if you are out in the country it is helpful to have say water, power and sewer. But to get those things someone official has to come out and tell you where you can put these things. For doing that they bring a tape measure and you bring a checkbook. For all that effort you then receive permits for a well, septic system and let us not forget a permit for a driveway which the department of transportation has to approve and before you build anything you need that driveway because the DOT does not like their roads to be dirty. Then the power company engineer comes to tell you where you can put a temporary power pole until the house is complete then after that you can have permanent power. More meetings with the builder to finalize what you want the house to look like. After that you wait................and wait............and wait, because without an estimate from the builder for the cost of all this madness the bank will not move forward with your loan application until they have a number from the builder. Gone are the days when if you had good credit they just lent you money. Now I am convinced that with all the personal information the loan officer has collected she knows more intimate information about us than we do and we are just getting started with that relationship. I fully expect to open my medicine cabinet one morning and have her in there telling me that my toothpaste purchase is comprimising my credit score and if I don't watch it I will have to sell a kidney to make up the cash difference. But we are moving forward if slowly it is still forward.

What Were We Thinking

About six years ago Mark and I were driving along on a Sunday and we started talking about where in a house the washer and dryer should be located. I wanted it upstairs because that is where the closets are and it would be easier. Mark wanted it next to the garage so he could come in from the garage discard his work cloths and put on clean cloths before he came into the house. I was tired of carrying laundry up and down two flights of stairs. The more we talked the more intense the discussion became and then we didn't talk to each other for three days. At that time we were arguing over a house we did not intend to build on property we did not own. Well that was then and this is now! We now have property and we intend to build but we are building tiny 980 square feet tiny. As it turns out the plans I love have the laundry where Mark wanted it all those years ago and I only have to carry laundry up one flight of stairs or maybe I will just put cloths in the downstairs closet.